When I read the Princess Diaries series a long long time ago, I remember thinking that Mia Thermopolis was one annoying character. Although I am a girl too, I nearly couldn't stand the extent to which she is over-sensitive, over-analyses everything and obsesses unnecessarily over small issues.

A few years later, I watched part of Sex and the City, I thought Carrie Bradshaw was extremely annoying too. Neurotic and over-emotional. Goes crazy over little things. Screwed up her relationships ever so badly.

But strangely these characters are immensely popular amongst females all over the world. Now, as I reflect upon it, perhaps we all see part of ourselves in these women. The part of us that is oversensitive and thinks wayyyy too much. It tires us out; it tires others out too. No matter how intelligent, capable and rational a woman is, these traits will still exist within her.

I used to be ashamed of that side of me. I used to try to suppress the emotional part of myself, and emphasise on my rational side. But you can never pretend to be someone whom you are not. Just like how it is lame trying to act more dumb than you really are, it is immensely tiring forcing yourself to swallow words that you want to say.

We were taught that women ought to be proud of their intelligence, but no one tells us that we ought to be proud of being emotional. Would you say that it is a fault that should be corrected? Or would you say, no, this is me, and I am not going to apologise for who I am?

Friends accept you for who you are. My friends are all the more dear to me because they put up with my idiosyncrasies and do not get tired of my incessant whining about the same thing for the millionth time. Some friends, though they may not understand what I am going through, are always there to show moral support. Friends who are like me empathise, friends who are unlike me sympathise. Mutual understanding and tolerance, that is the magic behind friendships.

In the past I suppose I always had my emotional guard up. Perhaps the events from 10 years ago left their mark, and for years I had a fear of getting too attached to anything and anyone. The more you care, the more it's going to hurt. But after many years, I learnt to rely on friends again. I learnt to trust that they would never hurt my feelings.

But people change, and there isn't really anyone to blame. I always believed that friendship should be a very natural thing. If it's not meant to be, perhaps we should just allow ourseives to drift apart. Yes, it hurts, but it's alright, I will pick up the pieces of my heart. Life goes on.

I admit, at times I blame myself. I feel that it is somewhat my fault, for having driven others away with my faults. But I will learn to deal with it. This is who I am, and maybe we just stopped communicating along the same frequency. And out of respect for our relationship, I will not attempt to pretend to be someone whom I'm not just to salvage it.

I remember I used to have a huge fictional crush on Michael Moscovitz, because despite all of Mia's imperfections, he really adored her, and he knew exactly how to sooth her ruffled feathers. He understood her insecurities, and loved her just as she was. In SATC, Carrie had 3 amazing girlfriends who stood by each other through thick and thin. It reminds me of my own lovable girlfriends. We stand by each other through all the emotional rollercoasters and we help pick each other up when we fall. It's a beautiful thing. And despite everything that happened between them, Carrie was the only woman whom Mr Big really loved. Those who love you, love you for who you are, and they would not expect you to change.

And so I shall not let myself feel ashamed for who I am. So what if I'm oversensitive or over-emotional? I love the way I have such a wide capacity to feel. To laugh, to cry, or even to do both at the same time. This is what I tell myself every time I start feeling insecure. For if even I don't love myself, who will?

And when all that is said and done, perhaps there is only one regret left. The question that I nearly asked but never did.

Do you, in any way, miss the way we were in the past?






走到淡水的海岸 两个人的爱情
已经无人看 已经无人听 啊

我跟你最好就到这 你对我已经没感觉 到这冻止 你也免爱我
我跟你最好就到这 你对我已经没感觉 麦阁伤心
麦阁我这爱你 你不爱我



有些话，因为信任而倾诉。有些人，却是因为失望而离开。

那我又是为什么，还傻傻地站在原地呢?

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Thanks for reading :)

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