Hi blog! I'm sorry that you've been devoid of content for so long and for spamming you with youtube songs. :P But sadly nowadays life feels so sian, and there seems to be nothing that I want to post about. >< Or maybe yeah everything is on facebook already so lazy to post haha.

Sometimes I wish I were back in RG. Things seemed so much simpler. It was so much easier to be happy. I could write paragraphs on this blog about little things that happen in my life. Almost every CO prac was something worth noting down in great detail. Now there seems to be nothing worth being excited about. CO pracs are ok-ly fun, and though hanging out with CO ppl is awesome, the happiness and excitement dies down after a while. My default mood now is like...sian. While things in my life can sometimes lead to excitement or depression, in the end it always goes back to the same old boring nothingness.

And now I feel as if I can't recognise myself anymore. I used to be so optimistic and rational, whatever the circumstances may be. Now I yearn for the positive mindset that I used to have that kept me hopeful even when I was sad. The bland feeling of nothingness nowadays is really scaring me. For the past few years, every time I make a wish on my birthday, I make a really simple wish - to be happy. But as the years go by, I realise that it keeps on getting harder. And I know that it has nothing to do with increased workload or whatever. I'm tired. I really need a break, so that I can redefine what I want to do with my life. But that day when I rediscover myself, is sadly nowhere in sight. :(

Well, at this point, I shall quote a line from an awesome song from one of my all-time favourite movies.

"When will my reflection show, who I am inside?"



Been slacking the past couple of days, which I shouldn't be doing, cos it's not like I have nothing to do. -_- Just that there's really no sense of urgency to do anything, and so I've been living like a sloth - sleep eat sleep eat... Next week is OP! But hmm haven't been bothering to even look at my script. :X

Ok so I shall list out my schedule for the next few days cos that's what I like to do. -_-

Mon:
Meet Simon from RICO to return/borrow scores for Qianwen.
Meet Mr Sunderaj to get him to read my Japan report (which I havent written hmmm)
Meet Mr Tan Boon Poh to go through Physics Promos paper (which I havent looked through yet -_-)
Econs tuition (reminder to self: sms to ask about fees)

Tue:
Practise OP at home, or more like, sleeping the day off to store energy for OP the next day -_-

Wed:
OP rehearsal in school
OP (!!!)
Go out with weiyi
Meet the tanbo ppl after prac to erm...do something

Thur:
Go out to marina with yifei!
Econs tuition T_T

Fri:
Go out with tienli and wenyun!
At night: meet aunt who's coming to my house to stayover

Sat:
RJCO prac - 11.30am-2.30pm (where the heck is lunch going to go?? T_T)

And ok so I've got one day left - tomorrow. I wonder how I'm going to finish chionging everything that I need to do. Grrr.

Here I shall post another song...which I found very useful to listen to when I wake up early in the morning to chiong work...esp the constantly repetitions of WAKE UP!!!



And lastly I shall end by posting this really cute vid that I found. The cute part starts at about 2min. The girl's confession was so touching. :)



很奇怪，明明是同样的一片海,看起来竟然会有完全不同的感受。我终于知道为什么了，因为...这里多了一个人。
因为一个人，所以整个世界都变得不一样了。因为一个人,所以一切都变了。
我今天终于明白了一件事。人...是可以为另外一个人，快乐地活着，开心地活着，或伤心地活着。我想要告诉你，你是第一个改变我的人，所以我愿意为你开心地活着。我也愿意为你,认真地活着。
不管真实的你是怎么样，我都无所谓，因为我喜欢的你,就是我现在看到的你，也是最真实的你。
我想要天天跟你在一起，一起发呆，一起做所有无聊的事情。就算我们每次见面都会吵架，也没关系，我还是想要天天看到你。
我知道你失去亲人的感觉，很痛苦。虽然我不知道她对你来说，到底有多重要，可是我只想要像现在这样，天天都可以出现在你面前，就算你什么都不做也没关系。
而且...我不会突然消失的。因为我很强壮，就跟一棵大树一样强壮哦。而且就算有一天，大树倒了，我还是会好好地出现在你面前的，永远都是这样。

Haha ok so I went crazy and typed out the whole thing. Typing chinese is quite shiok actually. :P

And ok, to end.

I think one of the most precious qualities that a person can have is optimism. The ability to cheer yourself up when you are down in the dumps. I once had that quality. And I believe that I still have it in me, somewhere, and I will find it from within myself.

As times change, people change, we ourselves change. Everything is different now. But hope remains the same. Some people believe in their religion, some people believe in money, well I dont believe in anything so concrete, but in a way, I guess I believe in myself. I believe in happiness. And I know that as long as my mindset is right, wherever I go in life, I will be a successful person in my own right.

"In the darkest of night, stars will light up our way. "

Labels: hope, optimism, schedule, sian, songs

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Thanks for reading :)

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