Forever Young

SYF

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 ? 0 Atashinchi ?

So it's finally over! Well of course honestly speaking I can't say that we are totally happy with the results, but in the end I guess we will just have to learn to look on the bright side, and learn to accept the inevitable.

Haha actually when we got the results there wasn't really any strong emotion. Just initial shock, then after a while, well, a little bit of 心酸的感觉... it lasted for a while, but after I came back to school and talked to people and joked around a little bit it got better. :)

But well what we were sad/disappointed about wasn't about our standard, more like we felt that the judges didn't recognise our standard so I guess we can console ourselves that it is not us, but rather it's THEM. Lol. Especially after our performance, which was ultimate dazzle!

Today's performance was about the BEST that we have ever had. When everyone came in at the right time, with the right tempo, with great taifeng and expressing SO MUCH emotion I was so seriously overwhelmed! Tanbo has never been so qi before omg! And it's like every single note we played was so full of feelings and we really put our hearts and souls into our music! Haha after the performance I was grinning from ear to ear and tienli was laughing so hard that she burst into tears. :) Even elizabeth came to me with this big grin and said that it was not bad!

Well so really I think that that is really the most important thing. Even though after we got the results we were quite disappointed all of us knew that our performance was impeccable. There were mistakes definitely. But to us, it was PERFECT. We put in our very best. We performed better than any other time we played the pieces. And we really CARED. That is the most important thing.

And in fact, I think that the most valuable thing that I gained through this experience, aside from the beautiful and inspiring music that we performed on stage, was the bond that we build as a CO, and especially as a section. Yesterday after prac we were cheering each other on and giving each other encouragements. And we managed to patch up previously "weird" relationships and regain the closeness that we used to have once upon a time. I was nearly in tears, when tienli started crying cos she was just so overwhelmed with emotions. Thanks a lot everyone. For making this journey so great. I am really really really proud of all of you! We have improved ever so much. And we worked so hard, put in so much work and emotions, to produce the WONDERFUL and PERFECT performance that we put up today at SCH. We literally brought the house down. :)

So thanks to all of you. Everyone from CO, and especially tanbo. Thanks to all my great and lovely batchmates and juniors for doing this with me and always supporting me no matter what we had to go through. Thanks to pipa, for being such a WONDERFUL section that is made up of some crazy people and some cute but thankfully normal people. :) And thanks to all the laoshis, including wang ls who went off before results were released but came back afterwards to talk to us (console us?)and who really put in so much effort and brought us to a new standard; liu ls who helped us so so much over the past few months (we really couldn't have done it without her!); zheng ls who is so nice and helped us so much and who called wang ls to praise our performance :); lu ls, huang ls and chen ls, especially lu ls who is leaving RGCO after SYF, I really hope that we have left him something to remember us for; all the other instructors especially the lovely ZHANG LS who looked so chio today :) and who helped us tune our qins today and also for always being so nice and great and friendly :); and in essence I want to thank everyone and anyone who has ever supported us in one way or another (like the security guard who always comes in to chase us out of ks chee after prac :P, or like my dad who drove me plus my pipa to school today :) haha!).

Hmm soon it will be time for me to step down as SL. The "concert" is still not confirmed to materialise or not. Anyway the school gives lame rules. It's kind of stupid to hold a concert but not allow the "public" (which btw includes our parents) to attend? And what about 母语周??? Seriously if they make us do that can we just play all western songs and see how they would react?

But well I digress. Haha I think I learnt a lot about a load of stuff from being an SL and even though the process hasn't been smooth I think I have emerged from this as a better person/thinker/leader/pioneer. -_- I am really proud of tanbo and how we put in so much hard work to result in the MIRACULOUS improvement. :) Tanbo is <3<3<3<3<3. Haha and sometimes I am glad I am the SL cos I get to do some stuff that others don't get to do, like today before SYF I was running around getting people to move stuff or whatever and that really helped keep my nerves down. Having something to do makes me feel in control. I hate standing around feeling lost. It makes me feel so insecure and lets negative feelings find space to grow!

Well but anyway. Even though yes I am still disappointed and all. But all that I can say is that the process is the most important. And to ourselves, what we have achieved is way more than what a Gold with Honours or any title can represent. We know that we played our best. So who cares what others think? As long as we played up to our usual standard (in fact we played way better than our usual standard) who cares what we get? Music is really subjective. Knowing that we played with our heart and soul and gave life to our music in our own way, is enough.

TANBO