New blog address: http://ladanseducarrousel.wordpress.com/

I moved the past entries over though, cos I like to read them from time to time and laugh at my young innocent self. :P

See you there! :)

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Loved this video. I realised that I've been guilty of much of the stuff discussed here, such as hunching myself up smaller and all, and hence it has indeed been rather inspiring. I will totally try out the power pose experiment, especially since it is super relevant to school, what with the heavy emphasis on class participation. -.-

In general I guess I should start being more confident of myself, instead of giving excuses like being chronically shy. To me, it isn't so much as 'faking it', but more like stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to improve your own self-esteem. In fact, I've been doing it for the past 6/7 years of my life - putting myself in a position in which I feel awkward and nervous, and braving it out till I learn that hey, I am capable of more than I thought I was! If not for the continual effort, I would not be who I am today, and there is no reason why I should stop doing it now that I am in uni.

So even though I still hate class part and public speaking, I shall try my utmost to put in more effort to do it well. (And hopefully salvage my CAP.) Here goes!

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I want to have a baby panda too :(

I will love it and care for it and hug it everyday~~

And I'll teach it kungfu so that it can star in the next hollywood blockbluster and i'll be its manager bringing it around to hobnob with all the elite ppl

And I think I am going crazy so maybe I should sleep :P

(But anyway IT IS SO DAMN CUTE <3>

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Am about to take a big step (ok not very big but bigger than expected) and i'm so nervous!!!

But I am going to accept it. Cos what's life without a little challenge? xD After all there have been bigger things that I have had to do and although each time it's always incredibly nerve-wrecking, once I get my mind around it it always turns out ok. :)

New motto: push your boundaries!!!



It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live when I'm alive

It's my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said I did it my way
I just wanna live when I'm alive

It's. My. Life.
 
 

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Recently I came across someone from my 'past'. And it made me think.

It is strange that when you are young, it doesn't register that some things that people say or do are called 'bullying'. Only when you grow up do you realise that back then you should have done something about it instead of suffering in silence.

I had the choice of going up to say hi. Maybe even ask if she remembers me. For a while I had the urge to do so, if just to confirm that she is indeed who I think she is. But I didn't.

A few years back I might have done that. A long time ago, I had done that with someone else. The fact that she did not remember was like adding insult to injury. But now I realise that there is no point reminding them of what they did in an attempt to evoke some kind of guilt in them. What happened was unimportant and unmemorable to them, even though it had made a big impact on my life.

So I turned away. Those experiences had contributed to who I am today, and in a way I should thank them, for helping me to grow and learn. And today I can finally stand up tall, no longer vulnerable to any of those attacks that had broken me down in the past.

I really like the scene in the MV where Taylor Swift pulls off the ropes tying her to the track. I believe that in these case, fundamentally there is no one else who can help you except yourself. To protect yourself, the change has to come from within. If you build yourself up strong enough inside in confidence and self-esteem, nothing that comes from outside can bring you down.

Some day, I'll be, living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Some day, I'll be, big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why'd you have to be so mean

And I am sorry for updating so seldomly haha. Thanks to all those who tagged, I am ashamed to say that I'm probably the most infrequent visitor to my blog that my tag replies are so incredibly lag!

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Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do
Turned the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song but I do, I do

Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early
And you stand and wait
And I walk to you
You pulled my chair out and helped me
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

You said you never met one girl
Who has as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don't know why I'm coming off a little shy
But I do

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

And we walk down the block to my car
And I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies
That your family watches every single Christmas
And I won't talk about that
For the first time, what's past is past

'Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
Then on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again
Then on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

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Sitting here alone in my room and feeling even more lonely than usual. Had a superrrr long day in which I haven't eaten anything at all.

Feeling very sad about school cos I find it so hard to deal with all the hypocrisy and selfishness all around. I really miss the days where the people around you actually care about you as a person and are willing to help you as and when you need it.

I suppose that's life. And you'll just have to get used to it.

And at times like this all it takes is a call home to put you in tears.

Happy birthday.

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